Spreading the love – or just a smile perhaps?
It's been a while since I've mused so I though I would share my plan to save the world… It all started with walking the dog.
On my road only (I don't do it all over the island – well not thoroughly anyway!) I now wave and smile at ALL passing traffic.
It started with just waving. Then it graduated to waving AND smiling. And most recently I have added in trying to make eye contact. Now sometimes I have to guess where the eyes are because of glare off the windscreen (your windshield in North America!). But I AM trying!
Now, often people don't notice or are too busy on their cellphones BUT maybe about 50% of the time I get a smile and wave back and I get a little thrill! It's fun!
Why? Well, I figured it's a great way to spread happiness and meet people. One day I'll be out with the dog and they'll be on foot or in their gardens and they'll recognize me as that crazy waving girl and will stop to have a conversation. Or perhaps it'll be raining and there's a puddle and they'll give me an extra wide berth or offer me a ride – because they feel like they know me. Or I'll see them in town and they'll say hello in person! Self-serving? Maybe. But I also genuinely enjoy (in this busy and increasingly impersonal world) making that connection.
Now I recently mentioned my waving plan to a caring member of my family. The response was mild horror…
"But you don't who they are! They could be anyone!" and of course that's precisely the point.
What keeps wars going, what allows humans to be mean to others – is when we lose touch with the fact that other people are human JUST LIKE US. We all have flaws – and we all have the same basic needs deep down – to feel secure, to be loved, to belong, to be happy. It's when we lose touch with that feeling of connectedness to others that we're able to inflict nasty thoughts, words or deeds on another human being.
So by waving and smiling AND making eye contact, I let other people know I see the human in them. That we're connected. Now, maybe right now our only connection is that we live on the same road – but who knows where it will lead?
Now, this is obviously easier to do in a small community. I TOTALLY appreciate that if I waved at every passing car in Yaletown (central Vancouver) I would probably get myself in all sorts of trouble. BUT, you could simply smile and make eye contact with an occasional passer-by around town – maybe just when you like the look of them. I've done this in Vancouver and admittedly many people either don't notice or don't know how to respond so they ignore you. But again, about 50% of the time I get a moment of recognition – another human genuinely smiling back at me. I feel so ALIVE. And I'm sure they got a buzz out of it too!
So why not try spreading a smile? It might just change the world.
Much the same being on a bike back in the UK, all passing bikers would get a nod, it’s community.
Though for practicalities sake, as well as safety you wouldn’t in London.
I find eye contact and smiling in downtown Vancouver has two main responses, he’s on drugs or he wants to do something to me ….
Though occasionally you get the smile back from another north american human being not conditioned into fear of everything around them.