Wherever you go, there you are.

Letting Go – Part 1 (of many I would imagine)

I forget who said "Wherever you go, there you are." – I think it was Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Because people keep asking "How's it going on Salt Spring?" And of course it's fanTASTic. I LOVE it here. I LOVE the potential this place has, the peace & quiet, the space, I LOVE walking the dog and getting out in nature and strolling along the beach in the evening, I LOVE taking it easier, I LOVE checking the veg garden and seeing what is coming up – have the tomato flowers been pollinated? Are the tomatoes coming yet? I LOVE making my favourite foods – French Onion Soup (with the cheese/bread topping), Cornish Pasties, Shortbread, Strawberry Jam etc.

And yet, I often wake up and feel a sense of mild panic. MILD panic, but panic nonetheless. I never ask "What have we done?", it's more "What happens if this doesn't work out?".

Well, (I hope Duncan will excuse me for paraphrasing him here – I've probably summarised it wrong) Duncan is worried how he will feel if he has to go back to a "normal job" and work/commute in 2 years time (we've given ourselves 2 years to make this work).

Of course my worries and fears are MORE ridiculous. I'm worried where we'll be in 30 years – what happens when we retire/get old? If we enjoy ourselves and live this lifestyle for the next 30 years will we run out of money and be homeless on the streets?

Now, I've technically only been an adult for 18 years (adult at 18 + 18 years of adulthood = 36 years old). 30 years from now I'll be 66 – and can still work and look after myself (if I look after myself). 30 years is almost DOUBLE the time I have already lived as an adult – and look at what I've already done with my life. A lot can and WILL happen in 30 years.

The point is, we moved here to live our values, we followed OUR DREAM. We wanted to:
* Become part of a like-minded community
* Find space – mentally and physically.
* Basically find OUTER peace & quiet to help us work on our INNER peace.
* SLOW DOWN / have time to do what we love
* Grow our own food / become partly self-sufficient
* Get closer to "the source" / nature
* Feel "at home"

And we've achieved all of those things. I LOVE it here. So, what am I afraid of?

Of course, I'm afraid it won't last! I am 30 years in the future (one of my strengths always was strategic planning…) and worrying about something that will probably never happen.

I guess I worry this is TOO good to be true and I'm afraid it will be taken away from me – in 30 years time!!!

Now, I see this fear of "things not lasting" with my clients quite often. In fact most people experience it at some time or another – and they EITHER:
– Self-sabotage themselves out of the situation OR
– More commonly, they're so afraid of losing what they want that they DON'T EVEN TRY to get it.

In other words, people have dreams – but are afraid they won't get there or that they won't be able to keep it. So, it's SAFER to stay where they are. It's SAFER to stay In their comfort zone. It definitely is EASIER to live a "normal" life than to try for what you really want – and risk losing it.

But as a lifecoach, it's important to me that I walk my talk! So, true to form I've gone for it. I've done it – even though I wasn't certain it would work out (and I'm still not!). And of course, a different gremlin has kicked in. But even so, I will NOT be self-sabotaging my way out of this. It's TOO GOOD.

Despite today's ramblings – I really am HAPPIER and MORE CONTENT than I have EVER been. I just have this nasty gremlin popping up (from deep within my subconscious) that I have to deal with. And one day he will be gone – and I can live this life I love without worrying or feeling guilty.

So, this is what I wrote in my journal this morning – to shake me out of my fear-based thinking. I hope it may give you some insight into your procrastination or fear-based thinking when following YOUR dreams and goals…

I wonder what your life dream is? If you're curious what you want from life – you could try the "Rocking Chair Exercise". I've attached it here for you Download rocking_chair_exercise.pdf And please don't just answer the questions – let your imagination go, write a story, paint a picture of your life with words.

Let me know how it goes!