Do women really look horrible without make-up?
So, recently I have had a visit from a local 'Mary Kay' lady. She was very nice – helpful, encouraging and very well dressed (especially for Salt Spring!).
Now I LOVE make-up – it's like art – but on your face. I just wish I LOVED how I look without make-up as much as I love how I look with it, and this of course is what I'm working on. In fact this week I actually went out – to a number of stores – with glasses on AND no make-up! I am getting brave…
So, back to my 'Mary Kay' visit. We had a little pampering session where I tried various lotions, potions and then a little make-up. And so it was that I mentioned she had picked an interesting market – Salt Spring – where so few women actually wear make-up.
Her response was vehement, "And don't they look HORRIBLE!" Goodness. Here I am, trying to learn to love how I look without make-up and a fellow woman is saying how horrible women on Salt Spring look without make-up…
Now, to be fair, this is a bit like going to the hairdresser and expecting them to OK the fact that you only have your hair cut once a year…
And it may not just be the lack of make-up – there are many women (and men) on Salt Spring who wear old, baggy or comfortable clothes and don't have much sense of 'style'. It's hard if you have livestock and/or work the land. So, if you combine this with a lack of make-up I guess it can seem that some women (and men) have 'let themselves go'.
Anyway. I talked the 'horrible' comment over with my hubbie and a few other Salt Spring males who all said they prefer a 'natural' look. I guess this doesn't mean NO make-up (find me a man who doesn't admire some actress or other, but has likely never seen them without make-up!). But men do seem to like women looking natural and fresh, which of course gets more difficult as we get older (and that's a whole other story).
What I propose is, as with many female equality issues, that what holds women back these days is rarely 'men' but more ourselves and our fellow women! If we fear we look horrible without make-up – or that other people will think we look horrible – well feel awkward without it. And humans have an inbuilt radar for body language so we'll probably draw more attention to ourselves. But if we go out feeling good without make-up and not caring what other people think no-one will give us a second glance.
And maybe that's the problem. Maybe we want that second glance…
As humans we have evolved to be drawn to beauty – in all it's forms. In human form, beauty is innately perceived as good genes, and therefore good for survival of the species. So we really can't help but admire beauty! BUT, we can learn to look deeper for the beauty that's there rather than just skim the surface.
So, that's my challenge. And maybe yours. To not only find – but believe in – my own natural beauty.
I like what singer-songwriter Christine Lavin says about makeup in her song “Bald Headed Men”, something like the cosmetic industry being a parasite feeding on the vanity of women.
Just Say No. It’s the first step in being you, rather than being what the television wants you to be. (And while you’re at it, unplug your antenna, and reserve your TV for watching DVDs. You don’t need to see all those ads! Why do you thing they call TV “programming”? They are programming you to be a consumer!)
Thanks Brendalee. Very thoughtful comment!
And I agree. I think people THINK they are noticing outer beauty – but REALLY they are noticing your energy/how you feel about yourself and the world – and THIS can be beautiful with or without make-up.
Re: difficulty with aging and looking natural and fresh. That is a comment about how beauty and youth seem so snug together in our cultural set-up (most advertising, modelling careers ending at 25 etc). But maybe freshness is about the aliveness of the personality, and ‘naturalness’ is about authenticity??? The Dove adverts are a great example of personalities shining through!
Perhaps that second glance does happen when you are not wearing make-up and feeling good and relaxed about who you are. People are drawn to the confidence and healthy sense of self. They may not even be aware of why they gave you a second glance…they just know you “look” good.
I beg to differ with you on your comment about it being more difficult to look natural and fresh as you get older. Getting older is not about decaying, it’s about accepting who you are and learning to appreciate the changes time brings. Maybe I misunderstood what you were saying but I do know the freedom I feel at 48 is so much better than the restrictions I felt at 28.
Emma-Louise you are beautiful with or without make-up because I know what a kind, wonderful, and generous person you are and that’s what I see when I look at either photo. So let the women of Salt Spring get to know that about you and learn things about them and I’ll bet you will no longer notice if they are wearing make up or not.
Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder so is “horrible”. Look with the eye that only sees the beauty of another.